Store up treasures in heaven

Store up treasures in heaven

Commonly, we followers of Christ hope that our heart desires to give to the Lord; setting our eyes on an eternal perspective, instead of thinking of our wants and whims here on this earth, which is, afterall, such a short time in comparison to all eternity.

But, what if you could store up treasures in heaven by the way you treated your husband? What if you were to influence others and could see that played out for all eternity? What if, by honoring your vow, you gave other women the encouragement they needed to do the same? What about those or an unbelieving family members, who so closely scrutinized your every move - what if after watching your faith in action, witnessing your joy, they come to desire a relationship with God?

What if by your faithful deeds and thankful words, others desired an intimate life with the God of your peace? Or, do you convey the message that your God is very small and incapable by the way you complain, worry, or speak ill of your husband? Imagine the unbeliever's ears perked by how you speak of your husband when he isn't around - would they be amazed at your faith in the faithfulness of God and how much you respect your husband even though he doesn't treat you as he should? Or, would they just figure that a person who claims to love Christ, is no different than the rest of the world?

What if you are married to this man who makes your life diffcult for fifty years! What if you never saw him change into what you had hoped all your years together? What if that relationship caused you to consider that all of this, here on this earth, really isn't about you? What if you really got that your life had a purpose and that purpose was to glorify God? What if by honoring your vow, you stored up treasures in heaven?

You aren't his Mother

Often, I get a glimpse of how some women talk to their husbands as though they were their mother. It might sound something like this, "Where are all those receipts, I've told you and told you, to let me know how much you spent." or, "Don't you think you should be going to church more?" or, "Maybe you could get a better job, one that pays more." or, "I have to do everything around here; can't you do anything right?" "I can't trust you to take care of the kids while I'm gone." Sometimes they are very condescending and sometimes its as if the wife is winking at the sin that has swallowed up her husband; allowing a grown man to act like a child. At times, even helping him be irresponsible.

Surely, you must have the right to be fed up when your husband doesn't act responsibly, or the way you think he should. You might be rather rude or disrespectful to him or resort to silence when your husband disappoints you. You might believe that it is necessary to point out the obvious things you see that need to change in your husband. How will he ever get it if you don't tell him? If you don't take over now won't the entire household fold? You might believe that if it weren't for you, your family wouldn't survive, certainly not your husband and certainly not your kids.

Ever thought about how the words you speak to your husband affect him? Every mention of his failures, every reminder that he has disappointed again - it sounds as if you are speaking to a child - he can almost expect to be grounded, sent to his room if he doesn't shape up. Ever think about how your actions speak volumes to him? You might not say anything about not trusting him, but you take over all the child care, the checkbook, planning, spending, decision making and pretty soon...you find that you are not only exhausted but you have officially taken over. You look around for the leader you so desired and he is nowhere to be found. You know why he can't be found? Because you have crowded him out! There is no room in the drivers seat - you are sitting there! Your husband has been forced in the back seat, like one of the kids. And woe to him
if he has any comments on the way your are driving.

You've been driving the family for so long you may think you are the only reason the family has stayed on the road. Surely if you allowed him to take the wheel, he'd drive the family over a cliff - or would he?

Your husband doesn't need a mother, he needs a wife who will walk beside him, love him, cheer him on, encourage him, and most important, allow God to teach him how to lead his family. Well, what about the man who has grown comfortable sitting in the backseat? It isn't too late for him either. He would probably love a chance to jingle the keys, slide into the drivers seat and drive in circles if he so chooses - just as long as those in the car believe in him. It may seem like a very scary thing to do - to relinquish control to your husband, but if you remember that up to now, your control and mistrust have been based on fear. It is important for you to realize that its really God you are trusting or rather not trusting.

It comes down to this truth: You are either going to trust God, or you aren't! It is God's desire for your husband to lead. It is God's desire to teach your husband how to lead. It is God's desire that you to wait upon him to teach, and lead your husband! This all may sound well and good, but, what about if your husband has no desire to lead? It still comes down to that truth: Are you going to trust God or not? If you are sitting in the driver's seat, more than likely, your husband has learned that he can't push you out of it! So, you are going to have to make the first move. He isn't going to move out of the back seat, until you move over! Move over, begin to pray that God will show you how to be his wife, not his mother. Ask God to give you a measure of trust in him, to teach your husband, to teach you to be a wife to your husband, not a mom.

For those of you who have excused your husband's sin and have not taken a stand when necessary - again, sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for your husband might seem like a very unloving thing to do. At times, there are actions you must take and God will give you the wisdom to act accordingly.

Imagine how glorious it could be...your man in the driver's seat, you beside him...humming along, down the road. A much better picture than you driving and your husband/child sitting in the back seat, longing for a chance to drive!

What Happened?

So you think that happiness has just walked out the door; the sweet waltz you so hoped would be your lifesong has stopped ringing in your ear and your chance to dance has ceased to exist. Well, my beloved friend, it hasn’t! Though your heart is broken into a thousand shattered pieces and you are amazed that it can even continue to beat, there is hope. You may feel as if you are trapped in the darkest place with no way of escape and no way of easing the deep sorrow. Take heart! There is a place of refuge and it is found in the loving arms of one that has also experienced the deepest sorrow.


You probably never imagined that you would find yourself in this situation: a husband committing adultery, or struggling with addictions, or who has walked out, or simply failed to be the husband you had hoped for - this isn't what you had in mind when you married him. But here you are, now, what are you going to do? You have choices to make that could have negative, long-lasting consequences if you chose unwisely. You have decisions to make that seem impossible and confusing as you sort through the fog. And what about your children, who are now looking to you to be provider, protector, nurturer, as well as a consistent and loving mother? It is an overwhelming and daunting thought to have to take on so much responsibility while dealing with such stinging emotional wounds.


It is a tremendous load, but it is not impossible. It would be easier to cave-in, to give up, to rant and rave, or attempt to numb your sorrow with alchohol, drugs, an affair, or plung youself into a comfortable pit of self pity. Doing what is right takes effort. Committing to a stable environment for your children takes effort, but the wonderful news is that you do not have to do it alone. There is a helper that longs to walk-along-side you and your family; a mighty counselor who desires to give you wisdom. In the midst of adversity, doing the right thing will have eternal rewards. While you can’t even imagine thinking it now, doing the right thing; learning to trust that God is sufficient, can at some point, cause you to say “The pain and sorrow was worth the outcome.”

So what is doing the right thing? It might be easier to say what isn't doing the right thing.

• First of all, if you are a child of God, you are operating on grace. God isn't waiting for you to make a mistake so that he can pounce and punish. So you don't have to be paranoid, constantly wondering if you are making a decision that God isn't going to approve. There isn't anything that you can do that will impress God anyway, so that leaves you off the hook in a sense that it isn't about the work that you do, its about his grace. The Lord will be faithful to guide you in your decision making.
  
• Secondly, staying in a place of self-pity is a dangerous and deep pit. Your pain is real. Don't pretend it isn't there, but don't remain in a place of woe either. Take every sorrow to the Lord; asking him to help you deal with the real aches of life.
  
• Although there may be some very real offenses that your husband has done against you, be honest with yourself that you too, have sinned against him. It might just be with an attitude, disrespect, or words that tore him down. Don't think for a moment that you have nothing to confess in this situation. Ask the Lord to show you any ways you have offended your husband and ask forgiveness.
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• Don't give up. The world would tell you to divorce that loser and move on. You might have so-called friends who tell you that you deserve better. Don't listen to them. Remember, God desires your family to be restored. Do all that you can on your part and trust the Lord to deal with your husband. No on can promise you that your marriage will be healed in the end, but, God promises to never leave, nor forsake you. Your desire should be pursing God, not winning your husband back. A restored marriage would be a wonderful byproduct of your passionate pursuit of Christ, not the main focus of your pursuit.
  

Assessing the situation - Considering all of this joy?

Wherever ever you find yourself at this moment, no matter what pathetic state you are in, that is exactly where God wants to meet you. The situation you have found yourself in at this moment, has not caught him off guard. He is neither shaken, nor feeling anxiety or hint of panic. As a matter-of-fact, he hasn’t changed from yesterday, the day before, the year before, or ten thousand years before. He is the one thing that is steady, unchanging and constant. So the first place to look for any stability in your life is God. Conviently, he already knows everything about your circumstance as well as everything about you. He knows what makes you smile, what makes you frustrated, your sleep patterns, how many hairs are on your head, how many cells are dying in your body right now, your dreams, desires, hopes and yes, he knows your sins.

Being that God is omniscient; he knows all, so of course he knows those thoughts, actions and attitudes you have had that cause a separation from him. Because God is holy and no sin can be in his prescence your sin causes a great chasm that separates you from him. Even though he knows everything about you and knows your circumstance – you cannot fully experience him unless the sin has been cleared from you. How could one ever clear their life totally from sin?They can’t, it is impossible and God, being God knew that. That is why he made a way to come to him and that was through his son, Jesus Christ. A price had to be paid for the sins of mankind, but not just any price, the ultimate price. A ransom had to be paid to set us free. We are in bondage to sin, but Christ redeemed us with his payment of sin. If we understand and confess that fact that we are a sinner and call on the name of Christ, believing that he did, indeed, die for our sins, then we can be saved, by faith and thereby, have an intimate relationship with God.
Imagine continuing on in your situation as you have known. Is it working for you? Or, are you attempting to fill yourself with temporary fixes that keep you mind off the hurt? Do you find yourself attempting to justify actions that were harmful to another, perhaps to your husband? Do you find yourself wondering why you are even on this earth in the first place? Do you ever contemplate on the thought of taking your own life, or how much better the world would be if you weren’t even here – afterall, what could you matter to anyone, especially in the wretched state your life is in now? Life without a relationship with God, through his son, Jesus Christ, is filled with darkness, hopelessness and despair. To be absent from God is absent from life, from light, from contentment, from peace, To be absent from God is death. However, to have a relationship with God, the father, through the redemptive gift of Jesus Christ on the cross is to have life and have it abundantly!

In John, chapter 16, verse 32, Jesus tells his disciples this: "In this world you will have trouble. but take heart! I have overcome the world."

You will have trials in this world, but, if you have a relationship with Christ; the Redeemer of your sins - it is possible that your heart, no matter how shattered, can be filled with peace and even joy - in Christ.

Confess your sins to God, let him hear from your lips that you believe that his son, Jesus Christ, died for your sins, rose again on the third day and now sits next to the throne of God - Christ Jesus is alive and he is the bridge to a relationship with a holy God.

A place where a woman can be encouraged, challenged, and strengthened is the intent behind this blog site. Hearing from so many women, on a daily basis who are struggling with a difficult marriage, or those who are in the mist of a storm, has caused me to seek a different way of communicating with them.

George Mueller, a man who lived in the 1800's and a man I greatly respect, penned these words:

"I saw more clearly than ever,
that first great and primary
business to which I ought
to attend every day was,
to have my soul happy with the Lord."

Although it is a great thought to be content with the Lord, it is much easier said than done when life around you is full of chaos, turmoil and pain. That is why the blog is titled:

Passionate Pursuit

- oh, that we would come to that place where we would be content in simply knowing Christ, no matter what the circumstance!