Pliable and Painful

Is God calling you? Is He using something in your life to get your attention? Is He attempting to purge those character traits that are not of Him from your life? It is painful when we are on the anvil - when the hammering continues - when God allows us to be frustrated in our sin - until we surrender.

Our tendency is to run, to hide, to beg God to remove the adversity, remove the pain. We naturally question why a loving God would allow such burdens, rather than understanding that He is teaching us, He is molding us.

Be pliable in the Creator's hands. Allow Him to shape you into the person He meant you to be. Don't attempt to harden your heart and set as concrete your spirit. Trust Him. He has your best interest in mind. He isn't punishing you or angry with you, just sculpting you into something beautiful.

The hammering may continue, for a season. Be pliable in the Master's hands. Be willing to surrender to him the outcome.

Your attempts to run won't make it go away. Move closer, closer still, into His arms. He will hold you tight during your time on the anvil. You can be assured that the Master watches closely, every chipping away has a purpose, every bit of stone that is painfully removed is to reveal a masterpiece that is defined and without a doubt the work of His hand.

You will be marked by your Maker....they will know who formed you...the Creator's traits will be upon you and visible for all to see.

"But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand," ISA 64:8.

Lessons from a former orphan

"Super hero's don't just think of their self, they think of others." Over and over again, we are attempting to help Luke understand that he must think of how his actions/words effect others. He likes to think of himself as a superhero and that he can save the world, save anyone. There was a time when all he could do was attempt to protect himself, but now that "His dream has come true with a family," he sometimes gets carried away and forgets about others. Even when we are blessed with wonderful things, we need to think of others....that's what I tell Luke...

then I remember myself...

I must think I'm a super hero too because I think of "me" most of the time.

I think of me when I am too tired to listen to another woman who is struggling in her marriage. I think of me when I am impatient at explaining the same simple math concept to Luke for the one hundredth time. I think of me when I don't care about my husband's day...only dumping my own frustrations on him as he walks through the door. I think of me when some one doesn't meet my expectations, when my feelings are hurt, when I don't get my way, when I have an agenda and get frustrated at God for not seeing it my way.

I need to put away my super hero cape.

I don't want to think of me so much. I want God's perspective on those around me - I want to see them as He does, not what they will take from me, or ask of me. I want to give of myself. I want my heart to overflow with the love of Christ so much that its impossible to think of self...but, that won't ever happen, cause there is no good thing in me...only Christ. I might do better than I used to and be more willing, but I will never cease to put me first a lot of the time. It will be a daily lesson, just like it is for Luke.

Each time I correct Luke, reminding him to think of others, I am reminded of myself.

Give me the heart of a servant, Lord!

God, thank you for the son you gave us.
Thank you for allowing him to teach us...about You.

Prostitutes and Preachers

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

We've read it, wrote it, memorized it, quoted it...one of the most popular verses in the Bible...

But do we UNDERSTAND IT or better yet, BELIEVE IT?

It doesn't matter if you are a prostitute, drug addict, murderer, slanderer, gossip, mean-spirited or down right lazy...God loves you. If you yelled at your kids today, fought with your husband, told off the driver in front of you this morning, or only thought about your self and your selfish needs all day...God loves you. As a matter of fact, He loves you so much He wants to call you out of the "self" lifestyle you have been leading...not so you will have to follow a bunch of rules or to whip you into submission...but, rather to set you free - to fill you with His peace -eternally.

Actually, God has already done what is necessary to give you this freedom. Like it states above - He gave you His son. He put His one and only on the cross and had him bear your nasty deeds, thoughts and flesh. He allowed His one and only to become what you are so that you could have what he offers - eternal life and a life of hope now.

You cannot add to it - no matter how many old ladies you help across the street or how much you throw in the plate on Sunday mornings. The debt has been paid. You are free if you will accept the payment that's been made on your behalf. Ever have someone pay a bill for you that you owe? I have and it was not only a wonderful surprise, but a deep gesture that spoke how much someone thought of me. God does it completely - He gave you his son in place of His wrath for your sin.

You cannot be good enough for it - no matter how pristine your life has been - you are filthy rags - even on your absolute best day! You might be keeping track of all the wonderfully thoughtful and sacrificial things you are doing, but you are the only one tallying. You cannot balance the scales of judgement with your deeds - so you can stop trying to earn and work your way to heaven.

So, if you cannot do it on your own - if God has done this most glorious thing for you, just what are you to do? Accept the payment! It doesn't matter if your a prostitute or a pastor...you need the grace of God. Confess your sins, admit your stains. Ask Christ to come into your heart, accept His payment. Ask God to make you a new creation, setting you free from the bondage of "self."

Come as you are. You don't have to wait until you have your act together, or after you've accomplished something that you think will make God so proud....cause you can't add to what the gift He's already given you...so stop trying.

God loves you, no matter who you are...whoever believes in him....you will not perish!

Throw off your sackcloth

Clean bed sheets. They make me happy, so does taking a walk, having a good cup of French vanilla coffee on the back porch, watching the baby goats run through the lush, green pasture, a full moon, buttery popcorn, fresh cut flowers...so many ways to have a moment of bliss and mostly, they are free - if I will only partake.

Those unique ways, fused into my day help me to reflect and remember the joys of life.

Where did we get the notion that God wants us walking around with long faces, sober thoughts and a life of want and neglect?

God wants us to enjoy life - not to the point where we make this world our desire, but to recognize that He gave each of us wonderfully unique ways that speak "smiles" to us. For me, it is a lot of being outdoors, or with a good book, creating, being with my guitar.

When is the last time you did that very simple thing that you so enjoy? Have you ever made a list of the top ten things that bring you joy? For a friend of mine, its having a diet Pepsi on ice...its that simple! When is the last time you allowed yourself to be unburdened by the harsh world by taking a few moments for you...not in a selfish way...just a refreshing way.

My family has suffered a great loss recently with the passing of my brother. We all gathered at the farm, around the pond last Sunday, enjoying the amazing weather. We ate, fished, took walks, talked, played corn-hole, loved on all the babies, relaxed in the sun...we stopped the business of life for a day and enjoyed simply being.

What are the unique ways God brings you joy? What are those simple moments that He knows delight your heart....if you have to think very long, its time to revisit them!

Lonely and Afflicted

Ever feel like God has given you more than you can handle? Sometimes God will ask hard things from you. Though people quote scripture to you, say encouraging words and throw trite phrases your way, sometimes it feels as if they are hoping their words will suffice because they don't really have the time to invest in your wounds. You are left feeling lonely and afflicted. You are left questioning and wondering if God really does have love in mind when pain and tribulation etches so deeply upon your heart.

The Psalms speak of being overwhelmed with the sorrows of life over and over again - being handed a heavier load than the heart can bear. If God didn't allow more than you could handle on your own....why would you ever call out to him? Why would you see the need to change if you thought you could save yourself? Why would your inner-most ever seek to be comforted and fulfilled if we were capable of soothing self?

Your trial is meant to draw you near to God. You may not understand at all why these things have come upon you. You may never understand. But God has purpose in this time of sorrow. God has not left you nor is He left without a plan for your tomorrow.

He is near you, beloved, in your lonliness and affliction....God is so very near.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Psalm 25:16

Losing a brother and a shared history

The call came late last Saturday. Through sobs of grief, my nephew told me his dad, my brother, was gone. My husband rushed to their home while I had the unthinkable job of telling my mom and dad that one of their children had died.

My sweet momma in her night gown sitting next to her beloved of over 60 years, knew someone had gone and she could barely stand the thought of hearing who. They held tight to one another and with the blow of their youngest son, now gone from the earth, they held even tighter to their hope in Christ.

The past week has been a foggy blur. Tasks and chores still need to be done, the flowers sent by loved ones are fading, the meals have stopped, the constant calls have quieted down...we are left with life to live.

I am the youngest of five children, my brother Dan, was the next oldest sibling. He is the one who shared my childhood. He is the one who has the longest and deepest history with me. Almost every one of my etched memories include him in the picture. We both loved outdoors and making the most of our glorious life on a farm. Even as we grew up, we remained close, having an understanding of each other that can only be explained by our rich history. It was a true sibling relationship...we could still get on each other's nerves, say what was on our mind without it affecting our love for one another.

I've been going through my memory file with my brother. I can hear him holler as he swings on a vine over the steep hill in the woods, I can see his tanned legs dangling over the tractor inter tube as he floats around on the pond on a hot summer day, I can hear him boss me around in the sand box and in the barn as we take care of livestock. I can visualize the dreams he had for himself and his family and I can feel his pain as he struggled with some hard issues in life. I catch glimpses of him in his children and grandchildren. I will never be able to see a fishing pole without being transported to his side as he cast his fishing line over still waters.

I will always have my memory file. What has changed is that I can only enjoy them myself. The other person that I could always count on to go traipsing through parts of those good 'ole days is now gone. I'm grateful for our childhood. I'm thankful for that rich history with my brother.

Grief is a funny thing. You feel so many different emotions all at once. I know that time will heal. My heart breaks for my dear sister-in-law. I do not know a more resilient woman. I am confident that God covers her with his tender mercies. I also know her days ahead will be hard.

My confidence, my hope, my sister-in-laws comfort, ultimately isn't in our memory files - though they bring much comfort during the grieving process. Our hope is in the cross - death has been defeated. My brother is more alive today than ever before. It is just for a little while that we will be separated from him. There will come a day when we will be worshiping at the feet of our King - for all eternity and that is why I know that despite the sorrow of today, there will come a day when complete joy will be all that we know.