There are so many things in my life that I thought I would have accomplished or experienced by now. There are dreams that have fallen to the ground and I can see God's hand in that and there are dreams that I've let go of...some out of necessity and my choosing and some because it's too painful to keep hanging on to them.
God creates us with a sense of hopefulness for...something better, something more fulfilling, more gratifying, more pleasurable and what we were designed to desire is him - this earth is not our home and the worldly dreams that we desire aren't meant to fulfill us. The older I get the more I realize that I will never be fully satisfied or fully content until I am finally home. By the gracious Spirit of God I can know contentment, but my selfish and human flesh will always scream for what I want, my desires, for the fulfillment of my dreams.
Dreams and passions aren't a bad thing. God created us to dream. But sometimes, God has a better dream for us. Sometimes, when we are holding with a clinched, white-fist, the dream that we will not let go of...God has something better to give us, if we would only open our hand.
I am learning to open my hand again, to offer up myself, trusting that my loving Father does indeed, have my best interest in mind. I'm scooping up some shard pieces of a couple of dreams that I had let fall to the ground and I'm placing them before the Father...willing to let him have them and willing to let him direct me.
A better question I've learned to ask is, "Will you take me, God, who you created me to be and allow me to flourish - whatever that may look like, for your glory?" I've learned it's OK to grieve loss of time and loss of desires. It's OK to look around and realize that you are standing in a massive junk yard of broken promises, broken hearts, broken lives and broken dreams...it's OK to validate that loss and give all the broken-ness to God.
When your dreams die or when you hold a clenched fist, terrified to let go...don't be afraid to open your hand and allow God to place something new in your palm. His heart is for you and he desires to accomplish a work in you. That may mean something has to die, aside from your agenda and your will, you need to surrender...even your dreams.
God created you to hope. When I was waiting for my beloved husband all those years, alone with our kids, attempting to eek out a living, filled with sorrow for my wayward husband...the only hope that I had was Christ. The only hope that ever filled my heart was the hope that God does love me and that he would see me through. I still have those things in my life that are hard and my hope comes from the same resource, and God is faithful to hold me up.There were dreams that have died along the way and some were painful. I grieve all those lost years without my husband in our life. I grieve lost opportunities or words spoken.
God created you to hope, for something more fulfilling, more desirable, more fulfilling - what he created you to hope for was him.
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