The above antique buffet was my husband's grandparents. Back in the day, it was a stunning, dark wood piece. My kids and mere life took its toll and it went from stunning to stunned. I asked my husband years ago if I could paint it, an off-white, (of course). He quickly responded with a "No". Every year, I asked. Every year, "No." Until this year!
I'm not a patient person. I have issues in the "waiting dept." especially when it comes to re-purposing furniture or decorating. I could have just started sanding when he wasn't home. I could have nagged him to death. I could have ignored his "no" and claimed I didn't hear him. I coulda, but I didn't. There was a time, when I really wasn't too concerned with what my husband wanted, I thought I knew best. Especially about the kids and the things around the house. The bottom line was I didn't respect him enough to consider how he felt about things, especially things like a piece of furniture. The bottom, bottom line was, I didn't respect him.
The day he agreed to painting the buffet, was the day that baby went out into the garage! I was so excited, I sanded and sanded until my arms ached. I chose a lovely eggshell white and began to gloss that paint over that worn out piece. After one coat, my husband told me that I had good vision, it was a wise decision. Oh, I was feeling good. Between coats of paint I went to a barn sale. The guy had stuff in his barn that he didn't even bother to drag out. I ventured in and was delighted to find the old piece that you see on the wall in the above photo (taken by Katie one of my amazing photo-graphers - along with Micala). He gave it to me for $5.00. I was feeling even better! It took some elbow grease, but it was worth it. I left the original paint, with its crackled edge (cause that's my style) and admired my amazing antique piece to go along with the buffet. It was a match made in heaven!
Once the buffet was dry and my strong men brought her back in, beloved husband secured the (very heavy and sturdy) mirrored shelf. Oh, it was gorgeous! I wasted no time filling the buffet drawers with my antique linens, the top and shelves with my favorite old and new glass/white pieces.
It was worth the wait...for my husband to give me his blessing. The point isn't if the buffet was left alone or painted, the point is, it meant a lot to my man that I didn't hound him about it. He appreciated the fact that I didn't stomp my feet and demand my way. There are times, even when it doesn't make sense to us, we can bless our husbands by simply letting them know we trust them!
Sometimes....trusting our husbands looks like not giving in to nagging, whining, slamming doors, giving them the cold shoulder or withholding. Sometimes, our husbands are wise in their decisions. Sometimes, they have reasons beyond what we see. Sometimes, they even know what is best. Even when you can't trust your husband, you can trust God to deal with him...easier said than done, I know. But if you think about how trusting your husband really means bypassing that trust into God's hands...it makes sense.
My man also appreciated the fact that I did the work myself. I'm always dragging something home because I have a "vision" for it. Most of the time, he's great about my little projects, but he's even more delighted and blessed when I take initiative and fix it myself.
Sometimes, it doesn't take years to get a "yes," and there are times, when I do try to negotiate with him. But I've learned that manipulating and attempts to control DO NOT WORK - they only drive a wedge in our relationship. When I show my husband that I trust him (which is actually trusting God), it brings a glorious dimension to our marriage that I never thought I'd see. My husband has responded to me in ways he didn't before - because I've learned to show him respect, he's way better at the affection and affirmation I need.
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1
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