As a Loved One is Locked into Addiction

There is a powerful scene in the movie, The Notebook. After the husband finishes reading "their" story, the wife regains her memory. She realizes that the man sitting across from her is her husband. The moment he sees in her eyes that she is "back" he wraps his arms around her. They raise onto their feet, so gently, so sweetly he dances with his beloved...the woman he has sat next to day after day, hoping, waiting, for her return. They are reunited as she reciprocates the love he has continually lavished upon her. It is glorious. Suddenly, she looks at him as if he were stranger. She pulls away. He tries to embrace her - desperate attempts to keep her with him a little while longer. It is no use...she slips away. She screams at him. Once again, she becomes the stranger. Helpless, his legs fold. He sits on the edge of her bed, clasps his hand over his mouth and his body heaves soul-splitting sobs. His beloved, his sweetheart, is gone again.

You can identify with the above scene if you have known a loved one who has been in bondage to addiction. You pray. You hope. You desperately cling to whatever you can of the person you knew and then suddenly, the stranger appears and you are left with soul-splitting sorrow.

It is a roller-coaster ride for your emotions. How can hope and hopelessness dwell so closely together? You can't help but to long to see a change. Perhaps this time they will stop. Maybe this consequence will finally get their attention. We want to believe the best - but as the demons torment them, the person we love becomes all the more unrecognizable. Oh, where have they gone? You grieve, you mourn the loss of time, the loss of relationship, the loss of knowing that person as they were.

You don't to enable, you want to show tough-love. You want to be strong and yet, so often, you find that your knees buckle, you fall onto your bed, sobbing soul-splitting sobs. You grow numb as you look around and realize how far the addiction has taken you as well...another person's prison has stolen your joy and dreams.

Where is God in the midst of all of it? Where is He and why doesn't He do something to rescue your loved one? Why do you have to suffer at the hand of someone else so deeply? Hard questions.

God cares deeply for you. He is right there with you. His desire is to see the shackles broken off your loved one. His desire is for complete restoration! Psalm 100 says: Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

A good shepherd goes after his lost sheep. God is THE Good Shepherd. God takes delight in rescuing his wayward children. He is in the business of mending broken dreams and broken hearts. He is the one who causes revival and repentance. He is the one who will call your beloved out of the slimy pit and set him upon the firm foundation. He is the one who is the mender and changer of hearts. There is no circumstance, sentencing, tough love, program, treatment, medication that is more powerful than God! There is no one on the earth that longs to see your beloved rescued than God!

Beloved, do not give up praying for your loved one who is shackled to addiction! Allow God to work in that person's life - it many mean changing some things - letting go and choosing to continue to live - with the hope that God's heart is to see this person restored!

Will there still be those soul-splitting sobs where every ounce of you cries out in the deepest sorrow because your loved one goes farther away....most likely. Will there be choices and actions you have to take in order to allow God more room and access in their lives ...perhaps. But God desires to carry you ever single painful step of the way.

Words to a song I wrote years ago while my own husband struggled says it best:

Parched like a desert, my heart is hard and dry
weary of the hours that bring sorrow, no life
Though my heart can't feel you, I know that you say
Count is all as joy, for my love in you remains

Chorus: If this is what must be, to bring me closer to you
If this is how you make me more like you
Than take me in your arms and hold me close to you
You are all I'm after, you are all I need.
If there's any other way, I cannot see the end,
All I am cries out to you, oh hold me close, again

Hopelessness it pierces though my doubting heart,
desperate for your promise, Oh Lord, please come again.
In a darkened garden, his heavy heart prayed
Tears falling down upon his face
Is there any other way? Is there any other one?
Father take me in your arms, not my will but yours be done

Beloved, God is holding you ever so close! Walk forward, allowing God to move. Move into his arms for he is a good shepherd and where his sheep are concerned he has unfailing ears!